Unruly: The Ten Cent Solution

As far as amenities, like leg room, food, wine and beverage service, seat width, pitch, video access, laptop power, and WIFI are concerned, Economy, Premium, Business or First Class offer varying combinations depending on the airline. But for those "unruly" passengers who seem to be in the news more frequently, the airlines should come up with a new, discounted standing-room-only corner class called Time Out.

For Time Out class, of course, there would be no leg room, service, or amenities whatsoever. I would vote for a metal bar for them to hang on to for stability, but no doubt the airline would probably have to put in some kind of secure safety harness for insurance purposes. And, the unruly being by nature unruly, this time out area would also have to be sound-proofed, to keep from disturbing the other passengers.

If pressurization weren't an issue, I'd even suggest a "rumble" seat on the exterior of the plane, from which in an emergency the objectionable passenger could be ejected (with parachute of course, we're not heathens) or at least isolated. Certainly ejection of a parachuted passenger is a more democratic solution that the threat of fighter jets shooting down a commercial airliner carrying 131 paying customers and 1 drunken idiot. The experience of riding a "rumble seat" would no doubt present an entirely new perspective on flying to the drunken idiot.

I did mention that this would be a "discounted" class. I would expect that the aforementioned discount would not apply back to the passenger's wallet; the difference between the origin ticket and the minimal expense of "Time Out" class would be forwarded to establish ongoing psychiatric therapy which would inevitably result from riding the rumble seat on the exterior of a plane.

Of course, none of this editorial is true--except for the fighter jet escort threatening to shoot down a commercial plane carrying 132 passengers.

The San Francisco bound flight that was escorted by two F-16 fighter jets was being escorted because a drunken, disruptive passenger locked himself in the bathroom. I do hope when the U.S. Gov't lets him out of jail, they send him the bill.

Originally Posted by George Hatcher Saturday, January 9th, 2010